We start where we left off, with Nightmare Moon (who looks fabulous after her magic makeover Face-Heel Turn) laughing maniacally. Mayor Faragonda, unnerved by the evil laughter (It probably gave her bad flashbacks to the overly-Evul villains of Winx Club), orders the guards to attack, which makes a surprising amount of sense for a show with this many pastels in it.
I have to ask, though, why do the three guards all look identical?
That picture almost looks like it’s one guard shrinking as he takes off into the air, but it’s not. My point is, if you can be bothered to design those outfits, maybe you could change their eye colour so it doesn’t look like Equestria is founded on cloning slaves? I don’t know, maybe they’re triplets. Or maybe Princess Celestia only hires white ponies with blue eyes. I wouldn’t put it past her to be deeply racist, after all, SHE HATES BOOKS.
Yes, I am still hung up on that. Stop judging me, books are important.
ANYWAY, the guards attack and My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic makes the worst pun ever:
“STAND BACK, YOU FOALS!”
*shudder* Oh, that’s painful. Someone rename that meme “Lame Pun Moon”.
(Yes, that might count as a pun, depending on how you look at it. No, it is nowhere near as bad as “Stand back, you foals!”)
And then Nightmare Moon turns into a bunch of sparkly, smoky, night-ish stuff? I really don’t know why, apparently she felt the need to gloat about her victory for a moment and then leave. That’s evil for you.
“Night-time… forever?” Painbow Dash, you are clearly one of the ponies who made Nightmare Moon (What was her name before she was evil, anyway? Sweet Dream Moon? Silver Moon? Dancing With The Stars?) go bad because of your unappreciativeness of her night. Well, a descendent of one, anyway. Maybe if you were like, “Oh yay, night-time, I love night-time!” she wouldn’t be so evil. But no, night-time sucks because it’s slightly darker and slightly colder than daytime, boohoo.
Anyway, don’t you guys have lights? Surely you can just light everything up with some full spectrum lamps and continue your pony ways. And don’t tell me they don’t have electricity, Spike had a lampshade on his head last time which indicates the existence of a LAMP.
“You’ve been up all night, Spike. You are a baby dragon, after all.” You have a BABY for a SLAVE, Twilight Sparkle! Why does this not bother you?
“Elements of Harmony, A Reference Guide.”
“How did you find that?!”
“It was under E-ee!”
Also, where were you looking, Twilight Sparkle?
“The sixth is a complete mystery.” As opposed to just a sort of mystery that a small group of teenage ponies can figure out after learning the value of friendship, amirite?
Nightmare Moon is watching you!
Twilight Sparkle, how do you expect to figure out the value of friendship without your friends?
“We’re sticking to you like caramel on a candy apple.” And then they proceed to leave her at the entrance of the forest. What.
Applejack, I like you, but your new friend is hanging off a cliff. There is a time and place to test her trust in you by giving ambiguous statements like, “Let go and you’ll be safe.” Now is the time for a far more reassuring, “Painbow Dash and Fluttershy are there to catch you, so you can let yourself fall now.” Vague reassurances do not strengthen friendships, kids.
I like that Nightmare Moon is actually trying to kill them instead of just sitting around laughing evilly. That said, what is that thing?
“Yes, Rainbow, I was there.” Twilight Sparkle FTW!
“A manticore!” Well, I guess that’s what that thing was.
“Rainbow!” I guess she really is a Painbow now. Thankyou for validating my opinion, Manticore.
“You poor, poor little baby!”
“Little?!” My thoughts exactly, Painbow Dash.
Are you telling me that Nightmare Moon just Transfigured herself into a thorn and yet Fluttershy could just pull it out? Seriously, why didn’t she just grab a regular thorn and save herself the trouble of being stuck in a manticore’s flesh all day?
Why is she singing? PINKIE PIE, CEASE THIS SINGING RIGHT NOW! She is like the one kid on every hike who thinks the time will pass faster if we just sing Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall down to one.
You stole his moustache? Scratch that, you stole half of his moustache? Nightmare Moon, your game is slipping.
“I cannot let such a crime against fabulosity go uncorrected!” That’s it! The sixth element of harmony: Fabulosity!
Is this dragon colour-blind? Rarity, not that your hair isn’t the very essence of fabulosity, but it is also purple. His moustache is orange. Unless he is going for the asymmetrical look this season, your sacrifice kind of just made him look worse.
“Besides, it will grow back.”
“So would the moustache!” Painbow, you are reading my mind at the moment.
“What’s with you and falling off cliffs today?” I think Painbow Dash may be my third favourite character, after Nightmare Moon and Twilight Sparkle. She’s kind of like Anya from Buffy: What she says is sometimes rude, but always wonderfully true. Seriously, honesty should be her ‘element of harmony’, not Applejack’s.
Those echoes are totally calling her Painbow and you can’t say they’re not.
Thunderbolts, way to be deeply unsubtle. Painbow would have much more of a moral dilemma if you weren’t practically wearing badges declaring yourselves “Nightmare Moon’s Evil Cheerleading Squad”. Not to mention: Fluttershy can fly too. There was nothing to stop her going over and tying the bridge even if that terrible ploy did work.
Mate, there is a difference between, “Stand back, I don’t know what will happen” and, “You guys wait outside in the scary woods, leaving me alone in the creepy castle!” What happened to sticking to her like caramel on a candy apple?
“Now you will never see your princess or your son ever again!” Wait, Twilight Sparkle has a son? Why? When? Is Spike the father? Godfather? IS SPIKE TWILIGHT SPARKLE’S ILLEGITIMATE SON?
Oh wait, she means sun. Okay, that makes more sense and feels less like a strange fanfic.
“Applejack, who reassured me when I was in doubt–” Now hold on a second. You were HANGING OFF A CLIFF! I wouldn’t consider thinking you would go splat if you let go doubt, I would consider it good f***ing sense! Also, “Fluttershy and Painbow Dash will catch you” IS NOT THAT HARD TO SAY! GEEZ! “–represents the spirit of honesty. Fluttershy, who tamed the manticore with her compassion, represents the spirit of–” Guidance counselling! “–kindness! Pinkie Pie, who banished fear by giggling in the face of danger, represents the–” annoying kid who is always giggling too much at absolutely nothing “– spirit of laughter!” Eh, close enough. “Rarity, who calmed a sea creature with a meaningful” if ill matching “gift, represents the spirit of generosity! And Rainbow Dash, who could not abandon her friends for her own heart’s desire,” A lifetime of being Nightmare Moon’s own personal cheerleader, “represents the spirit of loyalty!”
Got over your phobia of the word ‘friends’? Here, have a glowing round rock.
“You see, Nightmare Moon, when these element are ignited by the spark that reside in all of us, it creates the sixth element: MAGIC!”
Two things: One, I told you so; Two, the title is literal that is hilarious.
Anyway, Nightmare Moon is defeated by PAINBOW TORNADO!!!!!!! No, really.
And this show does have at least one thing in common with Winx Club: The eternal law of Save World, Get New Jewellery.
Am I the only one who thinks that crown is hideous? Also: “Gee, Twilight, I thought you were just spoutin’ a lot o’ houey, but I reckon we really do represent the elements of friendship.” Applejack, you just saved the world from Nightmare Moon and you thought Twilight was talking rubbish, but then you saw the pretty necklaces and you’re a believer? *FACEPALM*
THE BOOK HATER HAS ARRIVED!
“I told you that you needed to make some friends, nothing more.” Well, actually, you told her that she should STOP READING HER DUSTY OLD BOOKS! *grumbles incoherently*
Is it just me, or did Princess Luna just explode off her evil makeover? No, look:
Isn’t she just the cutest thing? All tuckered out after her evil rampage.
“We were meant to rule together, little sister.”
“Sister?!” Either they are very silly, or Celestia is somehow disguising the fact that she is an immortal goddess pony from the general public.
“Will you accept my friendship?” I love how all of them are leaning forward like, “Yes or no? God, this is better than Passions.” And Pinkie Pie falls over!
“I’m so sorry! I missed you so much, big sister!” Maybe Luna went evil because she was jealous of Celestia’s height. I mean, seriously, how is she not supposed to feel inferior when she is dwarved by her?
However, Rule of Cute:
Who cares if it makes no sense vis-à-vis criminal justice and exploding makeovers, it’s adorable.
I have, however, concluded that Princess Luna and Twilight Sparkle must be related somehow. Why?
The “Friends?!” face is genetic.
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